What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

When I buy a house, do I automatically own all items the previous owner failed to remove from the property?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Atheists who said that reading the Bible made them an atheist, how? Literally there are millions of people who read the Bible daily and still believe in God. So why say that? I mean unless you want to sound smart & edgy

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

How could NASA possibly land on the moon when it's impossible to reach the moon through the Earth's dome? Why are they making up such an obvious lie?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why do men like to have sex with a woman's ass?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What was your most memorable experience catching a fraudulent car seller?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What is your age now, and what age do you prefer to stay at forever?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Make Nazis afraid again!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!